"Timid choices and bold forecasts"

Kahneman wrote about cognitive perspective on risk taking - I am simply stealing the phrase to express my understanding of the mismatch between our expectations and actions. 

Hard things are discouraging for me - given the option, I would prefer to avoid hard conversations that can potentially bring unpleasantness, I would overthink taking any radical steps that pushes me out of my comfort zone, I would avoid the storm before the calm desperately even if I know the aftermath is worth the turmoil. When life moved forward in terms of time, and I became a different person as a result of that (not so much for my own efforts per se), I have let myself drown in nostalgia and longing to hold on to my old self. Needless to say, I have had an ordinary life - full of everyday small struggles and triumphs. I have never aspired for grandness, so no complaints there. What I have come to value in the process is my key takeaway - the combination of timid choices and bold forecasts is a recipe for disaster - a very dissatisfied life!

I have been on that road - not very often though. Mostly because between me and my partner, we keep each other in check. We push each other to take the leap of faith, we show each other mirror at right times, when we cannot figure out how to bridge the gap between our expectations and actions - we often hold each other's hands and keep moving. In the background there would be arguments, some tears as well, lots of ifs and buts, a thousand apprehensions and contingencies, however we make sure to keep moving and bridge the gap. I am very thankful for this balance - or else we would have been reduced to mostly all things timid or would have gone up in flames for all things too bold. 

Today as I think about it, I am grateful for striving for the balance, and the result of which is not a great life, but a life full of our little steps - relentless in doubt and in certainty. I have realized that I may not prefer the hard things - but I can do them all the same. When my life ends, I cannot say that I have not tried enough, or that my dreams were too big for me, or that I was caught up between wanting much and doing too little.

Happy New Year 2024.